Six Ways to Be Lonely

Usually we regard loneliness as an enemy. It's restless and pregnant and hot with the desire to escape and find something or someone to keep us company. When we rest in the middle of it, we begin to have a nonthreatening relationship with loneliness, a cooling loneliness that turns our usual fearful patterns upside down. There are six ways of describing this kind of cool loneliness:

1. Less desire is the willingness to be lonely without resolution when everything in us yearns for something to change our mood.

2. Contentment means that we no longer believe that escaping our loneliness is going to bring happiness or courage or strength.

3. Avoiding unnecessary activities means that we stop looking for something to entertain us or to save us.

4. Complete discipline means that at every opportunity, we're willing to come back to the present moment with compassionate attention.

5. Not wandering in the world of desire is about relating directly with how things are, without trying to make them okay.

6. Not seeking security from one's discursive thoughts means no longer seeking the companionship of constant conversation with ourselves.


This is from a book I am reading that is made up of 108 teachings on cultivating fearlessness and compassion.